The question was recently posed in a group I follow how ones husband "refuses to lead the home." the wife had come to that conclusion because she was the one teaching the children the bible during the day. What followed along in the comments really got my wheels turning in my head. Most ladies came to the same conclusion, (their husbands were not doing their God given duty to lead the home because they {the wives} were being left to homeschool, do morning devotions, discipline while the husband was at work.) And they felt that by doing all of that during the day, that automatically made them the "spiritual leader" of the home.
I must say I was shocked by the general censuses here in a Christian group of ladies. And with that being said, I want to take a few minutes and share my thoughts. (If I am wrong, Please feel free to share your thoughts kindly in the comments. Backed with scripture please if you can.)
There is a specific order that God designed for the household. And it has to be followed for the home to be run smoothly.
God
Husband
Wife
Children.
Gen 1:27
"So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him..."
Right there you see the order in which they were made. God was already here. God made man in who's image? He made man higher than the animals. He certainly didn't look at the wandering tigers and say he created them in his image. He created MAN in his image.
Man needed a help meet. NOT someone who was above him to tell him what to do or to be the leader. A help meet.
Genesis 2:18
"And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him."
Strong's concordance explains Help Meet as coming from the Hebrew word Azar which means "help".
Webster's Dictionary defines "help" as (give assistance or support). or (to make more pleasant or bearable)
Wow, How often are we actually a true biblical helpmeet to our husbands? 😕 Not just a help meet by this worlds standards. What is a help meet by this worlds standards anyway? Is there even such a thing? Looks to me like more often than not marriage is nothing more than roommates with a marriage certificate.
How can you be a biblical Help Meet to your husband? Let me just throw out a few off the wall ideas that have worked for us and others who have been married WAY longer than myself. I encourage you to leave your ideas in the comments as well.
{1} Have your husbands work clothes sitting out the night before. (Trust me, even this small gesture will seem huge.)
{2} Be dressed and ready to meet him when he walks in the door. (Yes even if he works 2nd or 3rd shift) I understand it's sometimes impossible with young children in the home. However, the days you can't will make the days that you can all the more special. After all how much effort did you put into readying yourself to see him? Try it and watch his eyes sparkle. (Okay, it may take a few times for him to notice. After all, they don't notice EVERYTHING. )
{3} Don't bombard him with how horrible the children were, how rough the day was, or how much money just went out the window with bills as soon as he walks in the door.
Sure, you've had a rough day as well. I know that. Yes, you want a breather. But, do does he. There is a time to relax. A time to talk about the stresses of the day. It's not as soon as the door opens and he walks in. Greet him with a kiss and a smile. Encourage the children to do so as well. (If you have children.)
{4} Be available. We've grown accustomed to a society full of technology. We always, have a phone in our face, computer open or headphones in our ears. Even if it's something God honoring that is on we can still be forsaking our God given duties as a wife. Does your husband seem stressed or unusually short tempered? Perhaps he has something on his mind but we aren't available enough for him to feel comfortable enough to open up and talk about it.
We can so easily shut our family out (especially our husbands) without even meaning to by becoming lost in our own little world.
And if technology isn't your thing, maybe it's books, journaling, or anything else that you are into.
{5} Love on him. Don't be afraid to love on him. Yes, he may be one tough cookie. He may seem like a gruff bear. But, I promise every guy on the inside turns into a teddy bear. (This is for the newly weds) If you've been married any amount of time I'm sure you have figured this out. If not, TRY IT.
I am so not done on this topic. But, I feel like I have touched on enough for today. I know what I touched on today didn't help with where I started at. By the time I am done with the series of posts, hopefully it will though. God took this in a different direction after I had planned out a whole many thoughts and verses on Proverbs 31. So, I'm sure someone needed this and this is where we went.
Have a blessed day friends and may God bless you all.
Numbers 6:24-26
"The Lord bless thee, and keep thee:
The Lord make his face shine upon thee, and be gracious unto thee:
The Lord lift up his countenance upon thee, and give thee peace. "
Bre Shafer